Goodbye Duke
There's a dichotomy.
Next to one of the most expensive restaurants in Durham sits a hole-in-the-wall barbecue restaurant. Range Rovers and Jeeps drive down Markham past the homeless man that sits on a bucket outside High Strung Violinist Guitars.
High Strung.
Two streets over from our off-campus apartments and houses, Durham is different. We're in a bubble, and some of us may never leave that bubble. That's ok --- everything is ok, it's just something to think about. I've thought a lot about my time at Duke. There are mixed emotions, mixed reviews. I wish I felt more understood. I wish I was more productive creatively. I wish I hadn't tried so hard for so long to be something I'm not. I'm sure a lot of people feel this way or do at some point in their lives. Regardless, Duke gave me a community, it gave me Durham. Duke gave me my best friends. Duke gave me the network that will never let me fall, and for that I am lucky. I love Duke, I love the people here.
But, sometimes, I look around and I feel like an alien, baring my heart and soul to people and a system that don't understand it. When people or a system don't understand something, we crush it, crush it into conformity. I've often felt I was not strong enough to be here, to make it through, uncrushed. But, here I am.
I love this place and these people so deeply, but I can't help but notice the hypocrisy. "Fuck the system. Tax the wealthy. Abolish police." etc. etc. We, or some of us, are about to become the system, about to become the wealthy. Abolish Greek life. I'm working on Wall Street next year. Hypocrisy. I don't mean to make anyone feel bad, but just recognize what I am saying.
We are so privileged to be here and Duke has made it so we will never not be respected -- because of our degree. People here are incredibly intelligent and driven. We will do amazing things. I just wonder, if we will actually change the world like we all say we want to -- I really hope we do and I believe we can, the only challenge is pushing ourselves out of the comfort zone and privilege we have lived in for so long, at least some of us. Of course, everyone is on their own path, all equally valid and important. But, I guess, what I'm trying to get at is: don't forget the passions and dreams we dreamt up so big at Duke just to have the comfort of privilege and wealth that often follows a Duke degree. Don't forget the dichotomy, the hypocrisy, of where we've gone to school, where we are going, and what we say we want to do.
A lot of people here will be very important people in their respective fields one day. And I hope we will all be proud, at the end of the day, of all we did, recognize all we didn't do, and plan to lead our lives how we truly want to, not just how we've been told we are supposed to, going forward. Goodbye, Duke.
Signing off and checking out.
Black Lives Matter
I’ve struggled the past few weeks with how to approach this topic, the topic of Black Lives Matter and the social and political climate of the current times. But I’ve concluded that as a writer, if I want to call myself that, it’s my duty to write honestly and openly about the world and what I see. Maybe it will resonate with someone somewhere, or add another voice to the movement for great change and equality. So, that is what the purpose of this article is, just to share what I have learned, consumed, and observed.
I am not a person of color. Therefore, I cannot relate to or speak to the experience of a Black person in America, or any minority’s experience in America, but I can observe, and I can learn and I can share these things with you all because writing is what I do. I write about what is important to me, and this is really important.
I do not want to insert my opinion anywhere, and I don’t want to white wash this or be a white voice speaking over Black voices. I just want to add to the movement and tell you want I saw.
On June 1st, 2020 around 7pm, I went to a Black Lives Matter protest in downtown Durham.
I saw two signs that read: “I’m trying to save the turtles but y’all trying to kill me! Like damn!”
“When America gets a cough. Black America gets pneumonia.”
I saw a shirt that said, “got oxygen?” in the font of: “got milk?”
I watched a Black woman stand in front of the Durham County jail with a megaphone, the speech in her hand shaking as she yelled out into the sea of people about how Black mothers everywhere heard their children, their sons, plea for breath when they heard George Floyd plead, “Mama” and “I can’t breathe.”
I heard the hands of the imprisoned banging against the sliver of window in the Durham County jail cells.
“I understand that I will never understand; however, I stand.”
I know I do not understand. I have learned that I cannot even comprehend what it is like to be a Black person in the United States or any other marginalized group in any other part of the world where there are implicit racial biases.
I do not know what it’s like. I do not want to be another white voice speaking out about the injustices I do not understand; I want to be a white voice who is amplifying and sharing the voices of others, the voices who may not write something about the protest or resources.
There are a lot of resources online and in the media right now. We need to learn, we need to ingest this media like we ingest the trashy memes and pop culture of our previous day-to-day life.
Rachel Cargle (@rachel.cargle) said, “Black people write, speak, teach and lead in other areas beside racial justice. You need to be uplifting and centering the voices of Black people not just in your anti-racism, diversity and inclusion conversations. Whatever your industry, you should be listening to, highlighting and learning from the Black community ABOUT THAT INDUSTRY in that space.”
Therefore, I’ve compiled a short list of media I frequently consume, because it’s all well and good to talk the talk, but we have to follow through and actually support and amplify Black people.
Media:
(tv show) I May Destroy You --- HBO series by Michaela Coel
(article) What is Owed, Nikole Hannah-Jones New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/06/24/magazine/reparations-slavery.html
(movie) The Hate You Give
(book) Beloved, Toni Morrison, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou
(music) “I’m Not Racist” Joyner Lucas, “Snow On Tha Bluff” J. Cole, “They Don’t” Nasty C, T.I.
(Instagram/Twitter) @rachel.cargle, @hannahbronfman
(art) @ablackhistoryofart, Kehinde Wiley
(Podcast) 1619 by The New York Times
(Comedy) Michael Che Matters on Netflix